Non-Jews are for practice
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
