so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
