i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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