I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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