Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
