I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
