Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
