either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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