We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
