So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize