The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize