I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Everything about him screamed your future.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
