im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
