I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
