Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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