dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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