There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
