Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
