hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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