we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
