I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
