Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
