the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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