I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
