She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
