He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I will pee on everything he values.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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