Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
