I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
