hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
