first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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