Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
