I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
