Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
