he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
