TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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