left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
