do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
