The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
