Dual....:-)
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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