So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
