how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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