When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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