That's intense
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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