He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
organizing the empties. That sober.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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