and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
That's intense
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
