As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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