He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
