I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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