here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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