My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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