So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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