Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
where are my eyebrows?
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