Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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