if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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