it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
