none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
