I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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