how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
