I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
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